These photo sets are pretty fun to make… More to come : )
(scribbles from Istanbul Airport, Jan 12th)
Thank you Papa T_T
My flight to JFK, then SFO is confirmed…
I am really going homeeeee!!!
Wahh… I lost some money and a day (no… I gained a day!) but gained a friend from Iraq who is a PhD student in England- she even invited me to visit her sometime in the next year- and she even said that, as it’s her only day and first time in Turkey, that she was hoping she would find a girl to explore Istanbul a bit with, and that when she saw me at the airport she had really hoped that I was going to the same hotel- hehe. When she told me that I immediately became much happier about my situation- God answered her prayer : ) and mine too- as I was praying and expecting there’s something good from this situation.
It really was a memorable day- though it was so rainy and windy, in Istanbul-
and even though I was running on just 1 hour of sleep! Haha- definitely was falling asleep randomly and unexpectedly at various places (tram, tour bus…).
Wahh so relieved right now T_T…
“çok teşekkurler!!! Kolay gelsin!!”. (정말 감사합니다, 수고하십니다!!)
I don’t think I could have been more genuine saying these words to the flight agent when I finished checking in my bag all the way to SFO. Wahh T_T…
One of my favorite things from yesterday was the tram ride from our hotel (which was really nice, and I got a discount from Turkish Airlines when I wasn’t supposed to- heh). The view I had during the 30 minute ride to Sultanahmet was the rainy, but still busy streets of Istanbul- I was enjoying the “Arabic version” of a certain chocolate from the UK, while listening to (and trying to hear the differences in accents) the conversation in Arabic between my new friend and a stranger who was from Lebanon- he spoke nearly perfect English because he went to an American university in Lebanon (which made me realize that I don’t know much about Lebanon…). A number of people actually recognized my friend as Arabic throughout the day and struck a conversation with us (I mean, with her- I wish I could speak Arabic!!). It was very interesting : ). And I got to see various reasons why the Arabic-speakers lived and visited Turkey, in person.
It was pretty hilarious when she thought she was recording a video on her iPhone on the tram, of me explaining how we met- then realized that it wasn’t recorded. Hahaha… In the video I said something about how, 10 hours ago or so, I would have thought I would be in the middle of the Pacific Ocean by now, half way to Amerika. But instead, I was still in Turkey because I missed my flight. But managed to meet the right person and am exploring Istanbul a bit with an Arabic speaker, after the kindness of strangers and even having a nice hotel to stay at and rest. Yes- there is so much good that still came out from my… Unexpected turn of events.
There was a period of time on the bus where I was so exhausted and cold, but after some çorba I felt much better.
Then- on the tram ride back to our hotel from Sultanahmet- I was sitting facing the opposite direction from the direction that the tram was heading… And it felt as if I was ‘zooming out’ from Turkey- from everything I experienced the past semester abroad- And on the last day, (which I didn’t see coming… Haha sigh) zooming out from the fascinating scene of a myriad of cultures interacting at Istanbul.
I definitely gained a day.
Thank you Istanbul, for an adventurous, cold, wet, but lovely last day in Turkey. And for letting me meet a wonderful friend!
The sweet San Diego that I knew (know?) and remember
Fun to compare to last photo set of wintery Ankara…
Still feeling a bit dazed.
I am the rose,
the joy for which you died
And this I know-
I move you with delight…
복잡하게 생각. 고민 하지 않고.
단순하지만 진심으로, 열정으로 사랑하고 싶다.
따르고 싶다.
함께하고 싶다.
대학교 4학년으로서 꼭 ‘마무리’ 지어야 하는 것 같은 시기이지만,
사실 아직 결정 내리지 못 한 것들도 있고,
새로운 것들도 눈에 많이 들어오는 것 같다.
하나님께서 새로운 일들을 하시려고 하는 것은 알고 있다.
특히 2012년에… 그래서일까?
은혜를 통해 마음이 편하다…
머리가 복잡 해질 때도, 마음은 편하다.
전능하시고 신실하신 하나님이시니까.
그 하나님이 나를 무척 사랑하시고 (찐하게 사랑하시고.!)
예뻐하시는 나의 아빠니까.
나를 ‘예뻐하신다’
나를 ‘소중히’ 여기신다…
(2012년 1월 18일- 한글로 새 일기장을 시작하게 되었다! 거의 무의식으로, 성공!)
Even though I am behind in my 10 page paper and for studying for my last final… How can I resist writing a post when I am leaving Turkey to go back to California in 3 days?
I am about half packed… I am not looking forward to dragging my carry-on suitcase by my hand with the now-broken handles around- I guess it’s time, it’s been through a lot (haha…it’s been lost, found, delivered, claimed, etc. just with me. before having me as its owner, it was owned by my mom for the past two decades. Though I think it’s definitely been to more places with me than with her c: ..)
So. I am leaving Turkey in 3 days.
I don’t know how to begin to describe all the sentiments and thoughts that I am starting to experience, that I haven’t really had the space to allow myself to experience yet, with the craziness of the end of the semester and preparing to start a new quarter right away in San Diego. And wait what… I am a senior now? Hahaha sigh. Well, I guess I have a good 10+ hours on the airplane for that. I am really looking forward to that plane ride, actually… Airplanes really are the place where I gain perspective more than any other place… Maybe because I’m closer to heaven? (Kidding.) Maybe because I’m in transition between ‘world’s? (I think this is a big part of it.)
I know I will be back in Turkey some day so I don’t feel as sad saying görüşürüz this time around… But I will still miss my friends. More than anything- the joy of learning Turkish- the ‘chai breaks’ every hour of lecture- all the traveling and documenting I got to do- the most special thing, as always, were the faces, the hearts I encountered this season. This is really what He blessed me with here- People with truly beautiful hearts. The moments shared with them… Moments so full of meaning. Each in different places in life and from different places in the world. I have a feeling, no, I know- that I will be seeing most of them in the future though, wherever it may be, so I am not too sad… : ) Writing this paragraph out is making me sad, actually… But really. I will see them again.
The thought of being ‘back’ brings a variety of thoughts and emotions as well-
The reality that what has become close to my ‘world’ can only be told and shared as stories to those I live life with in San Diego is sobering and, saddening. It won’t feel like a dream. I know I’m going back home, carrying things from Turkey in my heart. But of course I am excited to be back where I feel home, where I feel free, where I feel loved, where those closest to me are pursuing the same things, the same Person- but it’s also mixed with certain anxieties and insecurities. But I think and I hope that they will go away.
I can’t believe I’m a senior- every year at UCSD has been very different- haha… and I think I feel ready for a more ‘settled’ rest of the year, even though that might not make sense, considering that this is my senior year. Recently I’ve been having more thoughts about my major and interests and such too… I would be a very confused child right now if I didn’t have Jesus. Yes. Every year has been quite different from one another but so full of life and I am so thankful. He walked with me from the beginning and is still walking with me now. It has been such a journey. I think I’ve made progress in letting His peace guard my heart. Yay!
I turned 22. And this February marks the 2 year anniversary of something pretty special : ) Haha okay now I am getting a bit off track from the transition from Turkey.
This past season was not limited to my time in Turkey- the week in November that I spent in Israel, mostly in Jerusalem and Galilee in the end- was one of the most significant weeks of my life… It was marked by moments that I think I really had to come face to face with who Jesus is and what He did for me- again and again. And every time I faced who He truly is, I was ruined. And I hope and pray I remain ruined by who He truly is.
I met up with my best childhood friend from Korea, in Prague, Czech Republic. Neither of us, when we were seven-eight year olds, would have thought we would meet someday in Prague, while both of us were studying abroad in a foreign country. There’s just something dreamy and innocent about childhood friendships.
I observed much and learned much- from my classes, too- but more than from the information, from the way the people engaged with it- the professors, the Turkish students, the exchange students from different parts of the world… I really enjoyed it! And I think I am/will be learning much, from processing with God, the many thoughts I had with… many things in my time here. Haha. Let’s just leave it at that for now in this post. : )
Ah… as of now, I am looking forward to being done with the school work. I am looking forward to that plane ride. I am looking forward to being a local again. I am looking forward to grabbing dinner with my sister at SLO on my drive down to San Diego. I am looking forward to driving. I am looking forward to Korean food, Mexican food, Thai food, Japanese food, and Indian food (wow haha). I am looking forward to the variety of vegetables! I am looking forward to Trader Joe’s. I am looking forward to hugs. I am looking forward to the California weather. I am looking forward to studying at cafes again. I am looking forward to being with friends and family… I know that 2012 is going to be a good one : )
enjoying the last bits of (real) winter in Ankara… i hear it’s 80 degrees in San Diego & LA today… haha
from 2/9/11
But GOD- You are so much more.
You want me to know that You don’t take the things I do lightly- but more than that- You don’t take my ‘I love you’s lightly- You don’t take all the desires in my heart lightly- You are a GOD who wears His heart on His sleeve- You don’t see my obedience and my love for you as something that You expect a ‘grateful daughter’ to do but You are deeply stirred by my affections for You. By my hunger for You. That’s the kind of God You are…
You simply know. Understand. and Love.
