Every step she takes is where she belongs.
sheandhercat said: this is so beautiful but what does it meannn? (no i am seriously asking haha)
And I will try to answer! I think it may be long, haha… By the way, I love your blog! It’s beautiful. And I love that you are a sister in Christ : ).
This is a line from the song Amber by Andrea Marie in her new album. I will upload the song for you in the next post : ). The song goes like this:
______
She says what she means and she means what she says
She has a mind of her own
She’s like the wind she blows wherever she pleases
She’s a revolution all on her own
Feet on the ground and heart in the clouds
She draws a crowd wherever she goes
Fires burn, storms rage within
Color brims from her face and it shines
It shines like amber
And it shines
It shines like amber
Beauty surrounds her inside and out
You better look out there’s no stopping her
She’s not afraid to show you her smile
She’ll make you wonder when everything’s grey
Determination drives her arm
Every step she takes is where she belongs
Fires burn, storms rage within
Color brims from her face and it shines
Oh and it shines
It shines like amber
______
When I first heard this song I was almost shocked by the words because I so needed to hear them. The entire song really speaks to me in showing me a picture of a confident, beautiful woman walking in freedom, embracing everything that God has made and called her out to be. The line ‘every step she takes is where she belongs’ resonates the most deeply with me, because of my personal journey of struggle in my desire to belong somewhere- a place, a group of people- and at the same time, having too many, a myriad of interests; constant curiosity for the world outside of my bubble or more so a desire to connect with whatever was outside of my bubble; (I just really don’t like the idea of a ‘bubble’- of comfort, of a place I will end up if I grow comfortable with only what’s comfortable or familar; and forget to be engaged and compassionate) and I guess that’s been one of the things that led me to become someone that others perceive as a ‘pretty independent person’. I really do puzzle myself sometimes because these two things take me places I wouldn’t have thought of going. Haha.
Geographically speaking, or more so seasonally speaking (haha does that make sense? as in, from the perspective of this season that I am in…)- it’s a very interesting place to be. I am currently studying abroad in Turkey for a semester- it’s nearing the end, actually. I am flying back to California in just 3 weeks. I was born in Korea but grew up in Silicon Valley in California as a Korean-American that never felt comfortable with either or both of those words put together. I can do it. I can appear perfectly Korean-American and speak fluent Korean and English. I can appear to be the typical, good Korean-American Christian girl and not express anything outside of that ‘norm’ (whatever that’s supposed to look like). But that wouldn’t be being who I am. That wouldn’t be being and expressing everything that He’s made me to be. To be honest, I feel like I can’t breathe, in such circumstances and expectations.
Nowadays, more than ever, I feel like a forerunner or even a pioneer (‘every step she takes’… haha) in freely being and embracing. What a woman who truly knows and celebrates who she is in God, looks like- especially as a Korean American girl or as a Korean woman, in the church as well. Sadly, the picture of being a ‘holy woman’ has been manipulated and undermined, even in the church. It takes courage, to recognize this and to dare to not conform. It takes courage, just to be me, freely.
I feel like I am learning how not to conform, even from my own expectations and perceptions of myself- there are parts of me that I am still in the process of discovering and embracing- that sometimes feel quite different from what I am used to or might expect. And it’s not that I am losing parts of my personality but becoming more and more alive. For example, I tend to like things that generally can be seen as ‘girly’ and soft and I think parts of my personality reflects that too. But I also know that I have a fierce spirit (I just looked up the word ‘fierce’ and it says, a heartfelt and powerful intensity… I like!). There is freedom knowing that I can be both! That it is embracing everything that He has made me to be. And the only image I will conform to is the image of Christ.
Every step that I take is where I belong. I don’t have to feel like I don’t belong or fit into a certain expectation or perception of who I am- from the friends I grew up with, from the friends and family I have now that I would say know me best, and even from myself- because I am still on an ongoing journey of discovering and embracing everything that God has crafted in me, that has yet to come alive. He truly knows me better than I know myself… He’s my Creator, afterall : ). There are still much things to come alive in my heart and to be expressed for the world to see. And yes, it is okay and good for the world to see. He calls us the light of the world, and we are.
The Bride- the Church- Christ’s partner- will be beautiful. She will be radiant. She will be pure and spotless. She will be strong. She will be setting captives free. She will be opening the eyes of the blind. She will be healing the broken-hearted. She will be proclaiming the gospel to the nations. She will be demonstrating the goodness of God. She will be loving people into the Family, into the Kingdom. She will love with furious love.
I know the Truth. The truth is that He is with me wherever I go. He is with me every moment of every day. He is with me every step I take, so every step I take is where I belong. It is the sweetest truth. Not only has it been the sweetest truth, but for me, it has been vital- it’s been my sustaining truth and my anchoring truth, in times I felt most conflicted and lonely in my journey.
Think this was an overdue post, actually : ) So thanks, for asking the question and providing the occasion! Haha.
