Even though I am behind in my 10 page paper and for studying for my last final… How can I resist writing a post when I am leaving Turkey to go back to California in 3 days?
I am about half packed… I am not looking forward to dragging my carry-on suitcase by my hand with the now-broken handles around- I guess it’s time, it’s been through a lot (haha…it’s been lost, found, delivered, claimed, etc. just with me. before having me as its owner, it was owned by my mom for the past two decades. Though I think it’s definitely been to more places with me than with her c: ..)
So. I am leaving Turkey in 3 days.
I don’t know how to begin to describe all the sentiments and thoughts that I am starting to experience, that I haven’t really had the space to allow myself to experience yet, with the craziness of the end of the semester and preparing to start a new quarter right away in San Diego. And wait what… I am a senior now? Hahaha sigh. Well, I guess I have a good 10+ hours on the airplane for that. I am really looking forward to that plane ride, actually… Airplanes really are the place where I gain perspective more than any other place… Maybe because I’m closer to heaven? (Kidding.) Maybe because I’m in transition between ‘world’s? (I think this is a big part of it.)
I know I will be back in Turkey some day so I don’t feel as sad saying görüşürüz this time around… But I will still miss my friends. More than anything- the joy of learning Turkish- the ‘chai breaks’ every hour of lecture- all the traveling and documenting I got to do- the most special thing, as always, were the faces, the hearts I encountered this season. This is really what He blessed me with here- People with truly beautiful hearts. The moments shared with them… Moments so full of meaning. Each in different places in life and from different places in the world. I have a feeling, no, I know- that I will be seeing most of them in the future though, wherever it may be, so I am not too sad… : ) Writing this paragraph out is making me sad, actually… But really. I will see them again.
The thought of being ‘back’ brings a variety of thoughts and emotions as well-
The reality that what has become close to my ‘world’ can only be told and shared as stories to those I live life with in San Diego is sobering and, saddening. It won’t feel like a dream. I know I’m going back home, carrying things from Turkey in my heart. But of course I am excited to be back where I feel home, where I feel free, where I feel loved, where those closest to me are pursuing the same things, the same Person- but it’s also mixed with certain anxieties and insecurities. But I think and I hope that they will go away.
I can’t believe I’m a senior- every year at UCSD has been very different- haha… and I think I feel ready for a more ‘settled’ rest of the year, even though that might not make sense, considering that this is my senior year. Recently I’ve been having more thoughts about my major and interests and such too… I would be a very confused child right now if I didn’t have Jesus. Yes. Every year has been quite different from one another but so full of life and I am so thankful. He walked with me from the beginning and is still walking with me now. It has been such a journey. I think I’ve made progress in letting His peace guard my heart. Yay!
I turned 22. And this February marks the 2 year anniversary of something pretty special : ) Haha okay now I am getting a bit off track from the transition from Turkey.
This past season was not limited to my time in Turkey- the week in November that I spent in Israel, mostly in Jerusalem and Galilee in the end- was one of the most significant weeks of my life… It was marked by moments that I think I really had to come face to face with who Jesus is and what He did for me- again and again. And every time I faced who He truly is, I was ruined. And I hope and pray I remain ruined by who He truly is.
I met up with my best childhood friend from Korea, in Prague, Czech Republic. Neither of us, when we were seven-eight year olds, would have thought we would meet someday in Prague, while both of us were studying abroad in a foreign country. There’s just something dreamy and innocent about childhood friendships.
I observed much and learned much- from my classes, too- but more than from the information, from the way the people engaged with it- the professors, the Turkish students, the exchange students from different parts of the world… I really enjoyed it! And I think I am/will be learning much, from processing with God, the many thoughts I had with… many things in my time here. Haha. Let’s just leave it at that for now in this post. : )
Ah… as of now, I am looking forward to being done with the school work. I am looking forward to that plane ride. I am looking forward to being a local again. I am looking forward to grabbing dinner with my sister at SLO on my drive down to San Diego. I am looking forward to driving. I am looking forward to Korean food, Mexican food, Thai food, Japanese food, and Indian food (wow haha). I am looking forward to the variety of vegetables! I am looking forward to Trader Joe’s. I am looking forward to hugs. I am looking forward to the California weather. I am looking forward to studying at cafes again. I am looking forward to being with friends and family… I know that 2012 is going to be a good one : )
